He bills himself as "a world-renowned entrepreneur, best-selling author, yacht racer, bon vivant, taste maker and opinion taster," among other things. We first noticed his superb brand of humor this week on the FrontBurner, which you can read here.

His wit came over to Quick with a letter to our dear columnist Gordon Keith. The critique appears on Page 5 in today's issue, and is pasted below.

It turns out Alibaster has his own excellent blog. You can see it here.

So who is he? The alter ego of a sly member of the media? The new Gatsby of Highland Park? We have our suspicions. In the meantime, please enjoy his letter to Gordo:

Dearest Gordon Keith,

You impish rogue! Whenever I read your delicious column in Quick, it never fails to elicit enormous gut-tightening guffaws, regardless of how completely disposable the content might be. Absolutely nothing pricks at my funny bone like the benign word couplings that spill from your brilliant skull like so much liquid hilarity.

This is why I love you so, Mr. Keith. As a world renowned bon vivant, yacht racer and hot air balloon enthusiast I am often using my cerebral facilities at maximum capacity. Your column requires no such attention on my part. Your jocular fashion is both unthreatening and rudimentary, totally void of originality or bite. Where did you ever develop such a well-tuned if ultimately toothless sense of humor? I must know!

Miss Teen USA. Britney Spears. Lindsay Lohan. Is no one safe from your playful yet timely barbs? Were you sent to Earth from the heavens above? Do tell!

In closing I do attest, you are pure unadulterated merriment distilled in a frosty mug made from moon rocks and filled with Pope ... [explicit imagery deleted by editor].

Also, you have pretty hair.

Yours,

Alibaster Abthernabther