Today's birthday-having celebrities have done so much for mankind. Tears are seriously forming.

Sting, you've taught us about the transformative powers of tantric sex*.

Kelly Ripa, you've provided the perfect blueprint for breaking out of daytime TV to dominate morning TV. And yes, there's a subtle difference.

Lorraine Bracco, what haven't we learned from you?**

And Tiffany, thanks for making sixth grade so friggin' magical. "Could've been so beautiful/could've been so right/could've been my looooverrrr/every day of myyyyyy liiiiife."

*Personally, this isn't true, but any opportunity to mention tantric sex shouldn't be passed up.

**And by "you," I mean your character, Dr. Jennifer Melfi.