Weird press release of the day
Sometimes, it's best to let the press release speak for itself. How could any of my commentary possibly improve upon this revolutionary parenting idea? It couldn't. So just check this out, matey:
EXPERT TEACHES MOMS AND DADS HOW TO BECOME “PARENTS OF THE CARIBBEAN” AND RAISE KIDS AS PIRATES
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN movies are a thrill-a-minute. But if you really want to add some laughter and excitement to your life, consider becoming a “Parent of the Caribbean.”
“Most parents have been on the wrong end of a mutiny at one time or another,” says Tim Bete, author of the new humor book, CAP’N BILLY “THE BUTCHER” MACDOUGALL’S GUIDE TO PIRATE PARENTING: Why you should raise your kids as pirates and 101 tips on how to do it (2007, Cold Tree Press). “My book teaches parents every aspect of pirate growth and development -- from baby pirate care through the teen years -- so their kids can become self-respecting swashbucklers of the high seas or suburbs.”
GUIDE TO PIRATE PARENTING answers common questions such as:
* At what age a child should be able to remove a bottle cap by taking out his glass eye and using his eye socket as an opener
* Which offense requires administering The Flying Dutchman Wedgie
* How to prevent sogging the quartermaster
* The best place to maroon a disobedient child
* How to remove chewing gum or a giant octopus from a child’s hair
* How to convert a minivan into a pirate schooner
* When to smack a teenager in the side of the head with an oar
Each information-packed section ends with “Your pirate’s progress,” a short quiz that shows whether a child is reaching his or her pirate development milestones. For example, if your son has said “I’ll need another ration of grog if you expect me to eat these peas,” or told his teacher his homework was “eaten by a giant barracuda when the family’s ship wrecked on a coral reef near the Dry Tortugas,” you’re well on your way to having a pirate in the family.
“It’s Cap’n Billy’s dream that millions of parents will raise their kids as pirates,” says Bete. “For years he’s had trouble putting together a crew, and there’s no more exciting life than to sail with the Cap’n, see the world, make new friends, and plunder ’em.”
The book’s Web site (www.PirateParenting.com) is loaded to the gunnels with pirate fun, including an excerpt from the book, Cap’n Billy’s random pirate schooner name generator, a chance to plunder Cap’n Billy’s treasure chest, plus a quiz to see if your child is already a pirate. The Web site even includes a few of Cap’n Billy’s nursery rhymes for little pirates.
